dear America, you made me into a loudmouthed brat who takes internet trolls too seriously, but I’m very grateful that you did
sometimes my mom looks at me and goes “you were such a nice little kid what happened”
AMURRICA HAPPENED with all the good things like Polly Pockets and all the bad things like racist elementary school kids who pulled up their eyes at me
but yes when I was three I charmed the immigration officials in China who were about to arbitrarily not give me a visa but upon me telling them the story that I was going to go see my dad and he would take me to see the alligators, the alligators who were the parents of my stuffed alligator, they gave me one.
and so America you are stuck with me, no matter how many times throughout grade school I was told “go back where you came from”
I JUST WANTED TO SEE SOME ALLIGATORS OKAY